Diapering You
America's Adult Baby Sitter's

Tops, Bottoms, Gay and Straight.

clock June 9, 2013 16:45 by author Mommy Victoria
  Tops and Bottoms   By Lenny Waller of the Fetish Warehouse   I am Lenny Waller, the operator of The Fetish Warehouse (www.fetishwahehouseny.com); formerly of the Hellfire and The Man Hole Clubs in NYC. I was the former Manager of Cellblock 28, The Vault, and Kings Pleasure. I a... [More]


BDSM Survey results

clock July 30, 2012 16:07 by author Mommy Victoria
BDSM Survey results [More]


A Tribute to Tommy and all The Diaper Pail Friends

clock October 27, 2011 14:39 by author Mommy Victoria
Back in 1992, there aired who was at that time a virtually unknown talk show host who interviewed Tommie and several other Diaper Pail Friends. Thanks to those who saved this introduction of the Adult Baby lifestyle to the American public on live Television, We can see how the adult baby community f... [More]


The Mommy Manual

clock October 27, 2011 14:37 by author Mommy Victoria
Special DPF Report For the new (or experienced) mommy Posted in honor of the timeless dedication of Tommy of the Diaper Pail Friends site. The Mommy Manual has previously been (and still is) available in printed format to Listed Members who are also either Subscribers to the DPF Newsletter or Membe... [More]


What is True Infantilism?

clock October 14, 2011 18:19 by author Mommy Victoria

AB/DL is an acronym derived from the expressions Adult Baby and Diaper Lover.
What is the difference between AB and DL? Adult Babies (AB) are persons who enjoy living the role of young children and /or babies. Diaper Lovers Simply love to wear diapers.
And what is infantilism then? It is simply a word used to refer to AB/DLs' paraphilia. The scientific word for AB/DLS is autonepiaphylia. Following language rules, those who practice infantilism are called infantilists.
It has been our experience in the nursery that only one in every 25 guests is female while the balance is male. There dose seem to be one factor that we have noticed in many of our friends and guests. That is that they have all shared some type of trauma during childhood.

There doesn't seem to be a social or genetic predisposition to infantilism. We have met CEOs, Royalty, Artists and people from all walks of life.

Try and understand that by trauma, it could be something as simple as a sibling being born or a parent forcing the child to wear diapers. We have heard hundreds of stories that show a common theme.

What is True Infantilism?

Written by Kathy Stringer

Introduction

There is remarkably little information on this subject. For this reason it may be helpful to establish criteria to recognize infantilism. The onset of true infantilism is marked by earliest of memories fantasizing of regressive dependencies. Usually always during early childhood & youth the individual believes they are isolated and alone with these regressive desires, and that no one else in the world is like them. These individuals for the most part keep their pervasive symptoms of needing to act-out the regression hidden from family, friends and significant others. A common theme revolves around wearing diapers, which in most cases will give rise toward a role-identification of an infantile personality. Over time the behavior in most all cases will expand to include other infantile objects such as pacifiers, baby blankets, baby bottles and soft stuffed figures.

Transitional Object vs. Fetish

A person may view true infantilism mistakenly for a fetish. There is a stark difference since the desire for the object occurred before puberty [2,4,5]. For example, the diaper may be regarded as a symbolic formation to ward of insecurities [4] and becomes a transitional object for a child [6]. In strivings toward independence personality fragments may fuse with objects that represent nurturing [7]. It appears to provide a sense of control for the child to revisit a period that is widely accepted in our culture as nurturing. The energized transitional object offers relief from separation anxieties from the maternal figure and/or provides a sense of recreation of a period lost in grief.

The Abuse Connection

In some instances when abuse or neglect has traumatized a child [1], the small child may identify with toddlers in neighboring families and yearn for the same infantile attention. The child may secretly wish to exchange places and experience being diapered, cuddled, fed and nurtured as a renewed experience from a failed situation [8]. The observance of the attentive maternal figure construes as representation for the unconditional love longed for in a healthy environment. This longing may become fixated in the individual’s core developmental structures [3] since it provided a coping mechanism in absent of the good-enough mother. In essence, the fantasy of receiving infantile attention helped the child survive and to emotionally refuel during a chaotic period. In most case these mechanisms will continue to manifest by way of recurring infantile fantasies through out the life cycle of the individual.

The Libidinous Component

As the infantile child moves through the latency period into adolescence, it is not uncommon for the transitional objects to remain with greater influence. After all, the infantile fantasy has been repeated many times along with its vicissitudes and is now firmly imprinted into the psychopathic structure. In some individuals, once libidinous gratification is augmented and integrated with the existing infantile fantasy, a new association emerges. The existing fantasy that provided a cathexis for emotional refueling is now set into motion with the more satisfying libido component. Essentially, the pre- libidinous transitional object takes on a new dynamic to relieve anxieties and to satisfy cognitive patterns set in childhood. It is not unreasonable to conclude that the fantasies imbued with the transitional object will become more concretized when intermittently connected to the libido drives.

Fragmentation and a Continuous Sense of Self

It is not uncommon for the infantile individual to become despondent from impinging feelings of guilt. After all, they may think that children do grow up one day and they have failed miserably. Some infantile individuals tend to look at life as ‘all or nothing’ terms. Either I am all regressed and unable to function, or, I am all grownup and must purge all the transitional objects. This thinking is much like a toddler uses in the defense of ‘splitting’[5]. A toddler relates to the world in all or nothing terms..i.e..”I love Mommy” or “I hate Mommy.” A toddler is unable to tolerate conflict or ambivalence and becomes unmanageable at times with temper tantrums since the anxiety is too overwhelming [5]. In succinct, the infantile individual that is either engulfed with regression or defiant of infantile longings is behaving age appropriately with the toddler. More desirable and since regression is an enduring imprint, it cannot be ignored. To bring infantile wishes in harmony with a higher level functioning, a comprise must be reached. This understanding of one’s complexities gives way to a more continuous sense-of-self.

Dependency vs. Nurturing

Most infantile individuals incorporate a maternal figure into the childhood fantasy. This becomes a problem since to achieve a realistic experience the individual may seek out a mother figure and become depressed in her absence. It is for this reason I would like to point out a compelling difference between dependency and nurturing. Dependency engenders neediness [3] and a notion that one cannot be nurtured without the presence of another individual. This is a false assumption that may lead to desperation. A belief that infantile expressions can never be meaningful unless dependent other others can be catastrophic. Dependency creates a dependency on others for happiness. The infantile individual can nurture themselves with the advantage and use of transitional objects. The individual can simply be himself or herself and find happiness in being alive and able to experience regressive nurturing introspectively. An acceptance of self is the most nurturing aspect of life.

A Helpful Analogy

I’ll concrete this a bit further. Transitional Objects, a term coined by Winnicott, is an object of attachment that the infant uses to provide relief. In true infantilism, a diaper is a transitional object from ‘earliest’ memories….and holds a primary meaning of comfort and nurturing rather then a secondary sexual object. This analogy may help to clarify true infantilism. A transvestite wears women’s clothing for sexual gratification, and clearly a fetish. On the other hand a transsexual wears women’s clothing from the desire to ‘become’ a woman and some cases with SRS the transformation is complete, and this is not a fetish for a transsexual. I see true infantilism as more connected to the transsexual aspect of this analogy. In essence, for the true infantile individual, a diaper is not a fetish but rather a Transitional Object with it’s origins in early childhood.

Therapy and Treatment

There is no known cure for true infantilism. Its patterns and deliveries to satisfy infantile longings are set firmly into place. It appears to become problematic when situations place an emphasis for disclosure…i.e. getting engaged or getting married. The infantilized individual grapples for a decision because fears of ashamedness, rejection, abandonment and exploitation are commonly associated with past developmental struggles in childhood. It brings to surface a terrifying risk that the new partner or family member will misunderstand and take the position it is a bizarre perverted derangement and action to crush the behavior is paramount. As stated, there is no known cure and treatment toward self-acceptance and individuality may ameliorate destructive wishes and behavior. Acceptance may resolve self-hatred and command the unrelenting forces of the cultural inner critic to subside. Since the personality is fused with the nurturing transitional object, in would not be therapeutic to destroy, purge, annihilate or defeat the mechanism that has provided some emotional stability for the individual. It would equate to most as wiping out the inner child. One treatment modality may be applicable. A healthy balance is to be encouraged to help an individual from completely giving in to regressive behaviors. Introduce exercises to limit the fantasies to diminish pervasive regressive behavior since engulfment may create a larger abyss that is not grounded in reality.

I don't see how a therapist can help with regression, at least from my experience.....UNLESS, the therapist is there to help with self-acceptance and validation. Once one can accept self, then the forces are not so relentless......it brings a feeling of.....I am okay....I am a unique individual and it is okay to be me. If you can accept that, then life becomes more rewarding, and that inner child becomes loved. Each needs their own time. One should not starve the other, or put guilt on the other.....you are what you are.

References

  1. Letter from Bruno Bettelheim 1978
  2. The Transitional Space / Peter Giovacchini (p.28,80,81)
  3. Prisoners of Childhood / Alice Miller (p.23,24,54)
  4. Separation-Individuation / Margaret Mahler (p.108,157,171)
  5. The Psychological Birth of the Human Infant / Mahler, Pine, Bergman (p.77,82,84,155)
  6. Object Relations Individual Therapy / Scharff & Scharff (p.58)
  7. The Facilitating Partnership / Applegate & Bonovitz (p.159)
  8. The Language of Winnicott / Jan Abram (p.251)


The Advanced Baby

clock October 14, 2011 18:00 by author Mommy Victoria

The Advanced Baby

Written by Kathi Stringer March 22, 2006
[Rev 1 April 19, 2006]

Written by Kathi Stringer and may be reproduced and/or distributed on websites, and/or for personal use with the author's names and credits attached.

Imagine, in a world…that for a few, age is timeless and innocence is for everyone that lives it, and growing up means growing smarter while daydreaming they are still in Carters. They can present with vestiges of adult maturity, while cloaking their infantile true self in the guise of adulthood. They may manage companies, formulate cooperate takeovers, and wheel the power to eliminate a division of executives. They may find themselves excelling to the top levels of their class, brainstorming ingenious formularies, or in the center of the party. They are frequently intelligent, progressive thinkers, spontaneous and creative. They can be found in classified and sensitive high-level operations within government, and all the while it is just a masque of a highly developed intellectual child. If you can imagine this, then hang onto your hat and get ready for a run around the Mulberry bush because it is quite possible that you've stumbled onto the elusive world of the advanced baby.

Ask yourself:

  • Do you like snuggling up with a baby blanket or stuff toy?
  • Do you bond with child-like friends with games like tinker-toys while cartoons are playing in the background?
  • Do you feel like you cannot identify with the "A-word" – 'adult?'
  • Do you like the baby-doll fashions, cartoonish clothes, or coloring in coloring books?
  • Do you sometimes wear diapers and drink from a baby bottle as part of your identity?
  • Do you feel comfort, loved and a sense of well-being from infantile associations of objects or play?
  • Have you feltthis way all your life and thought you were the only one?

If you can answer yes to most of the questions above, you may be an advanced baby, or suspect someone that is.

Introduction to the Advanced Baby – A Life-style

Just before the dawn of the new century, when Y2K was the hype, the term "Advanced baby" was coined to describe a life-style of infantilized persons. These individuals for the most part enjoy the grownup advantages of playing with computers and other high-tech gadgets with autonomy (= advanced), yet emotionally they still cling to infantile objects for security and comfort (= baby).

Phenomenon of the New Age?

Perhaps the phenomenon of the advanced baby is part of a larger spectrum that includes other groups of child-like individuals. Christopher Noxon, a writer for the New York Times, made a splash in the news circles after he articulated the occurrence of new terms in is editorial, "I Don't Want To Grow Up."[1] In his article he uses terms,

Kidults, adultescents, or rejuveniles - call them what you will - the trend for immaturity is every-where. It has become unfashionable to be mature.

Noxon continued with an interview of Frank Furendi, a professor of sociology at the University of Kent at Canterbury in England. Noxon writes that Mr Furendi speculates that "adulthood as lost its appeal." Noxon writes further;

Mr. Furendi began researching what he calls 'the self-conscious cultivation of immaturity' after spotting college students watching 'Teletubbies' in a university bar. The scene stuck in his mind, and he came to think of it as representative of a wave of infantilism sweeping Britain and beyond.

Noxon's article caught-on and the mainstream of writers spurred further observation and speculation. Ian Shoales writes about the "World's Oldest Preteens"[2] that toymakers aretargeting consumers that are buying products for made for persons half their age. Indeed, manufactures are considering another market for the infantile buyers. And, Trina Rea's article, "The Search of Eternal Youth,"[3] discusses 35-year-olds that are looking to escape financial demands in life by the attractiveness of regression. She writes,

Is anyone surprised that they just refuse to grow up and are happy to regress back to childhood delights?

Rea indicates that it's big bucks for toy-makers and even publishers are jumping on the bandwagon and catering to "Children's Books for Adults... Indulging rejuveniles - or kidults, as some are calling them. "

Siobhan McAndrew, from the Reno Gazette-Journal in her article "I am a Gen-Xer suffering from Peterpandemonium"[4], writes,

Others describe this back-to-babyhood boon as Peterpandemonium, Kidults and Adultolescents.

McAndrew indicates that is becoming a fad to wear knee-high socks and wear Strawberry Shortcake footed pajamas that now come in adult sizes. She echoes the New York Times that "Rejuveniles are not are not "stunted adolescents." They have "busy lives with adult responsibilities and respectable jobs."

Jessica Gresko, A Spectator Associate News Editor titled her article, "Stuffed Animal Attachments Carry Over into College Years."[6] Gresko writes about Andrea Herbst who admits bringing her teddy bear to college.

"Dydee," she got him when she was one year old. He came with the diapers from the diaper company," she said. He has been with me everywhere. I took him to Germany when I was seven. He came to England when I spent the year there between high school and college.

Truly, we live in an age that older consumers are buying candy pacifiers, happy meals, and, according to Suzanne Fields author of "Revisiting the itsy bitsy spider,"[7] they "don't want to leave their childhoods because they prefer innocence to edginess."

Advanced Babies and Defragmentation

The genesis of advance babies closely resembles their formation from the term "True Infantilism."[8] For most of their lives these individuals have had difficulty growing-up in the conventional views of adults. The advanced baby is not characteristic of being libidinally mature in adult relationships, nor are they indicative of even understanding themselves. Due to the unavailable information, it is an intangible-given that many appear to live in a world split by the "adult vs. baby" dichotomy. However, there is a conceptualization of a life without this dichotomy through a dialectical synthesis. Meaning a synthesis (= integrating the adult vs. baby) can reduce internal fragmentation to become a lifestyle to help an individual from completely giving in to regressive behaviors. The pseudo-adult and baby are defragmented and reflective of the true self.

A Look at Transitional Objects – Not a Fetish, Costumes or Props

An excerpt from the essay True Infantilism[8] states,

A person may view true infantilism mistakenly for a fetish. There is a stark difference since the desire for the object occurred before puberty. For example, the diaper [or other object(s)] may be regarded as a symbolic formation to ward of insecurities and becomes a transitional object for a child. In strivings toward independence personality fragments may fuse with objects that represent nurturing. It appears to provide a sense of control for the child to revisit a period that is widely accepted in our culture as nurturing. The energized transitional object offers relief from separation anxieties from the maternal figure and/or provides a sense of recreation of a period lost in grief.

Transitional objects can carry over into adulthood and are often times not the original object. Glen O. Gabbard, the flagship author for the American Psychiatric Association indicates

Pills may function as transitional objects for some patients, allowing them to maintain some sense of connectedness with their psychiatrists when seeing them quite infrequently. Touching or looking at the pill may have a soothing effect on the patient. [9]

Advanced Baby – Self Identification

They've been this way most of their life from earliest memories. The concept of advanced baby is a lifestyle and is similar to the intellectual Peanuts character Linus carrying around his security blanket (term security blanket inspired by Linus Van Pelt).[10] These behaviors are not viewed primarily as something to be practiced or a fetish. There is an important distinction to be made. There are many fetish and perversion sites on the Internet that assume to construct a comprehensive umbrella that state most regressed individuals fit into a their criteria using an alphabetical soup of acronyms. By making these blanket assertions, an individual is pigeonholed into a group with a range of behaviors that often appalls the listener (= countertransference problems). Often times, the infantile individual is horrified by the assumed associations and has no place to reference knowledge for treaters, family, spouses and friends. It's also problematic because it is not uncommon that an individual may wrongfully identify their personas with the contemporary slang on the Internet because they are not able to articulate it differently and nothing else is available. For these reasons, this essay on advanced baby has offered another option for self-determination and self-identification.

References:

  1. Noxon, Christopher (Aug. 31, 2003), I Don't Want to Grow Up!, New York Times.
    Extracted March 22, 2006, http://www.christophernoxon.com/nyt_sub_rejuveniles.html
    Mirrored: http://www.toddlertime.com/dx/regression/notgrowup.htm
  2. Ian Shoales (January 1, 2004) World's Oldest Preteens, Intelligent Enterprise Magazine.
    Extracted March 22, 2006 http://www.iemagazine.com/040101/701ddw1_1.jhtml?_loopback=1
    Mirrored: http://www.toddlertime.com/dx/regression/youth.htm
  3. Trina Rea, (December 19, 2003), The Search for Eternal Youth, Europe Intelligence Wire.
    Extracted March 22, 2006, http://www.toddlertime.com/dx/regression/youth.htm
  4. Siobhan McAndrew (October 11, 2003), I am a Gen-Xer Suffering from Peterpandemonium, Reno Gazette-Journal.
    Extracted March 22, 2006, http://www.rgj.com/news/stories/html/2003/10/11/53893.php
    Mirrored: http://www.toddlertime.com/dx/regression/peterpandemonium.htm
  5. Rejuveniles (2003-2004), Extracted from Kathi's Mental Health Review,
    Extracted March 22, 2006, http://www.toddlertime.com/dx/regression/rejuveniles.htm
  6. Jessica Gresko (November 14, 2002), Stuffed Animal Attachments Carry Over into College Years, The Columbia Spectator.
    Extracted March 22, 2006 http://www.columbiaspectator.com/vnews/display.v/ART/2002/11/14/3dd38458acf7c
    Mirrored: http://www.toddlertime.com/dx/regression/attachments.htm
  7. Suzanne Fields (September 4, 2003), Revisiting the Itsy Bitsy Spider, Townhall.com.
    Extracted March 22, 2006, http://www.townhall.com/opinion/columns/suzannefields/2003/09/04/168346.html
    Mirrored: http://www.toddlertime.com/dx/regression/fields.htm
  8. Kathi Stringer (2002), True Infantilism, Kathi's Mental Health Review
    Extracted March 22, 2006 http://www.toddlertime.com/dx/regression/infantilism.htm
  9. Glen O. Gabbard (1998) Psychodynamic Psychiatry in Clinical Practice, THE DSM-IV Edition, pp. 141
  10. Charles Schulz (September 19, 1952), Linus, Meet the Gang.com
    Extracted March 22, 2006, http://www.snoopy.com/comics/peanuts/meet_the_gang/meet_linus.html
  11. Pictures for the advanced baby essay extracted from: http://www.toddlertime.com/dx/regression/advanced-baby-pictures.htm

Written by Kathi Stringer and may be reproduced and/or distributed on websites, and/or for personal use with the author's names and credits attached.



Jerry Springer - "Adult Babies" (1992) Full Episode

clock September 30, 2011 15:39 by author Mommy Victoria


Bohemian Rhapsody

clock September 28, 2011 13:46 by author Mommy Victoria


Act Your Age
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